Friday, August 12, 2011

Chloe and the walk from Hell

So I lied about the vintage blog, I'll do that next week...gotta keep you guy (s) on your toes. So I'll tell you about the walk Chloe and I took yesterday that I like to call, "Walk from Hell"...I'm original.
First of all I'll Include another photo of Chloe so you remember her sassy attitude...Here's her in a backpack Keturah bought for her.The light always catches her eye so well.
So I decide to take chloe on a walk yesterday because this morning she peed on my cow skin rug which might mean she needs to go outside more. So we're bopping down the stairs and Chloe starts having an asthma attack which sounds like loud aggressive snoring. Thinking she was dying, I tried to sooth her transition to the afterlife by whispering things I think would sooth me. "Say hi to GOD for me.", "They probs let you pee anywhere you want in heaven.", "Maybe you'll get your eye back." The last one doesn't apply to me I have both eyes. (knock on wood)

After that was over she wagged her tail in assurance that she was going to live and was ready to pee all over bushwick. So we embark on our journey (around the block), and immediately run into a man walking his scary as hell miniature greyhound. He stops to let them smell each other's butts and I didn't want to be like, "Eww No Chloe! That dog looks like a praying mantis!" so I let her.
Don't look at me like that you spindly little shit, you know you're too delicate to be real.
While they were socializing, a man from the neighborhood offered to start an impromptu dog fight...I politely declines and dragged Chloe away from her new creepy friend.

At this point I'm over the walk, I want to make myself a grilled cheese and watch So you think you can dance. We walk past the grocery store and I hear a shrill cat cry/hiss/bitchfest and some fury mass charges from behind a dumpster and attacks Chloe.The cat was wearing a black belt and I saw his trophy case behind the dumpster and he had more than one karate Trophy.
I yanked her out of the brawl which I'm pretty sure she was losing and bitch slapped that cat with my foot (kind of kicked it, whatever it deserved it).
Chloe seems pretty much unfazed by the whole event even as scooped her up to make sure she still had her good eye. I basically made that weazy beazy run home for fear we might run into a gang of drug dealer bears who love to eat dogs.
All in all it was a pretty eventful time in Chloe's life and I'm sure she'd make it her facebook status if she had one...

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAA

    <3333333333333333333333!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete